Report Card: Shop Humor — Repair Orders that Produce a Smirk

1/9/2009

BRAKE & FRONT END magazine editor Andrew Markel passes along some of the best “one liners” that come from repair orders and the economy of language used by service advisors/writers.

BRAKE & FRONT END magazine editor Andrew Markel passes along some of the best “one liners” that come from repair orders and the economy of language used by service advisors/writers. Here are a few of the funnier ones.

Service Advisor: Dead bugs on windshield.
Tech: Live bugs on back-order.

SA: Evidence of coolant leak found on passenger floorboard.
Tech: Evidence removed.

SA: Customer can not turn on car.
Tech: Can I see the customer?

SA: Brakes make the car stop suddenly.
Tech: That is what they were designed to do?

SA: Volume of tire noise unbelievably loud.
Tech: Tire noise volume set to more believable level.

SA: Suspect worn brakes.
Tech: Suspect you’re right.

SA: Driver says the engine missing.
Tech: Engine found under the hood after brief search.

SA: Vehicle handles funny.
Tech: Vehicle warned to straighten up and be serious.

SA: Heater fan hums.
Tech: Replaced with heater that knows the lyrics.

SA: Mouse in engine compartment.
Tech: Cat installed.

SA: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a dwarf pounding on something with a hammer.
Tech: Took hammer away from dwarf.

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